Andre Johnson Visits The Titans

via Chris Wesseling of NFL.com “Andre Johnson is back in the news for the first time since his release by the Indianapolis Colts in February. The 35-year-old wide receiver visited the Tennessee Titans on Tuesday, NFL Media Insider Ian Rapoport reported, via a source informed of Johnson’s whereabouts. No signing is imminent, per Rapoport, as the two sides are simply feeling each other out at this point. It’s fair to wonder if the Titans are bringing the veteran in to light a fire under enigmatic second-year receiver Dorial Green-Beckham, who has struggled to master the playbook and remain in football shape. Johnson lost a few steps last season, failing to separate from opposing cornerbacks while falling behind Donte Moncrief on the Colts’ depth chart. Absent special teams experience, the seven-time Pro Bowler will have a hard time fulfilling his vow to continue his storied NFL career in 2016.”

Pretty heartbroken that it has come to this. First the Colts and now the Titans. How much more can a loyal Dre fan take? Some seem to have forgotten, but before all you obsessed JJ Watt nerds came around there was only one player on the whole Texans roster who deserved to even throw on a jock strap, I mean helmet, on Sunday’s. I looked up to Andre throughout my whole athletic prime (I peaked in high school) and my most memorable moment in sports is the shmack down he laid on that small ginger Finnegan. “Don’t get frustrated. You know ima tear that ass up. You know that.” I watched greatness from Andre for 10 plus years, so when the guy tells me he can still produce goddammit I got to believe him. No matter what AFC South team he decides to play for next, I’ll always be a part of #Team80.

 

P.S. Chris Wesslinger, or whichever junior writer wrote the special teams joke for you, get ready to catch these fuckin hands if you see me on the street. So in the words of the always pleasantly spoken Allen Iverson”I don’t know any franchise players that play special teams. I don’t know any 7 time pro bowlers that play special teams. I don’t know any two time 1st team All-Pro’s that play special teams. I don’t know any future Hall Of Famer that play special teams. Why Andre Johnson?”

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Andre Johnson Visits The Titans

Astros Fan Starts Go Fund Me To Buyout Carlos Gomez’s Contract

https://www.gofundme.com/2gev4fhg?rcid=1a8d6df652eb11e6aef2bc764e065f4f

“We all love the Astros. We all know Carlos Gomez is a huge bust. Let’s pay him to leave our beloved team and city. Let’s buy out his contract and send him on his way. We can make room for quality players looking to make an impact. Our management doesn’t seem to want to budge on benching Gomez and the only reason I can think of is because they are just paying him too much. Let’s ease that stress for them by buying him out and sending him on his merry way.”

This pains me to write, but it must be done. I want to like Carlos Gomez so much. His swag, cockiness, and goofy voice scream superstar. But at the end of the day I’m about results, which is why I love JJ Watt despite him being the biggest nerd of all-time. Gomez is batting.200 and his home run to lost helmet on huge cut ratio is roughly 1:20 (IDK I’m not a stat guy). Fukerz gotz to gooo!

 

Update: Only $8,999,940 away. I would donate but the way my bank account is set up…

Astros Fan Starts Go Fund Me To Buyout Carlos Gomez’s Contract

Guys Play Basketball In Houston Traffic

Just when I thought I couldn’t hate a person any more, watching this traffic blocking douche bag conduct an interview on ABC after the NBA finals in a barber chair put the icing on the cake. Apparently stopping traffic is something Monsee Cortes and his fat cousin do regularly which by default makes them the worst human beings in the city. Honestly, how heartless do you have to be to prevent people from getting home after they spend 8 miserable hours at their dead end job? Catch me on a bad day doing this shit and you will never hear from me again. I will have to flee the country. My road rage is out of control. I will run them over, reverse and do it again. Richie April Sopranos style.

However I have not come across these men yet, and there is a possibility I never will. Yet, they are still out there blocking traffic on some of our busiest roads. Sports Fiasco readers, all six of you out there, I am calling on you to STOP these men in case I never get the opportunity. I’m not asking you to kill them (unless you want to), just clip Monsee or his chubby cousin with your bumper. You will not only be the hero Houston needs, but the one the working class deserves. And when the day comes, I hope ball was really life losers.

 

Guys Play Basketball In Houston Traffic

Houston Texans 2016 NFL Draft Recap: Will Fuller

  
The 2016 NFL Draft is now officially over, and the Houston Texans GM Rick Smith has put together a solid 2016 draft class. I’m going to go ahead and dub this draft class ” The most electrifying draft class in Houston Texans history”. I’m going to write a blog about each draftee and also the non drafted free agents and the first on up is Will Fuller.  So lets get it on – Kenny Blankenship voice. *Side Note* for all of yall who have no clue who Kenny Blankenship is, watch this video then proceed to take your lame ass to Dallas because we aint got no time for that shit in Houston. 

2016 NFL Draft: Houston Texans

Round 1, Pick 21*: Will Fuller – WR Notre Dame

Round 2, Pick 50*: Nick Martin- C Notre Dame

Round 3, Pick 85: Braxton Miller- WR Ohio State

Round 4, Pick 199: Tyler Erving – RB San Jose State

Round 5, Pick 159: R.J. Dillon – S West Virginia

Round 5, Pick 166: D.J. Reader- DT Clemson

Will Fuller: When Roger Goodell walked out on the stage to announce the Houston Texans pick, I remember my buddy asking me who we are going to draft. I knew we were going towards a wide out, not 100% on which receiver we were going to draft and then the comish said, ” With the 21nd pick, in the 2016 NFL Draft, The Houston Texans select, Will Fuller, Wide Receiver, Notre Dame”. Im not going to lie, I sort of stood there in shock. Shock of not really knowing who Will Fuller is. Of course I know of Will Fuller but I didn’t know who he actually is.. As a die hard Texans fan I had no choice but to love the pick, but loving something that you really don’t have a exact read on is something that violates Rule #124 of my personal code of conduct. So with me being fair with myself, I did a little research. Research which lead me to absolutely fall head over heels for Will Fuller, your #15 of the Houston Texans. THE DUDE CAN STRAIGHT FLY!!  period, end of story. Which is exactly what the Texans need. We need that leaf blower to suck up some of the coverage off DHop. I’ve read posts, blogs, listened to Houston sports talk radio and all of the people who hated the pick should stop being a Texans fan. Yes he might have baby midget hands, yes he might catch too many passes in the chest, but the number one thing you need to know is that he ran a 4.32 forty, and had 30 career TD’s playing for the golden domers. The Houston Texans went into the draft looking for a #2 wide out to help out Dhop and I applaud Rich Smith and Coach OB on the player they selected. I will make sure to publish my draft grade on the pick once he is done with his rookie contract. 

Stay tuned for what Grizz thinks of the second round pick, Zach Martin. 

Stay leaning Houston,

– Grizz

Big Moe: Purple Stuff

Houston Texans 2016 NFL Draft Recap: Will Fuller

Flood Day In Houston

Ah, flood days. Nothing better than the two days a year this happens in Houston because it gives  all the lazy people out there, including myself, a valid excuse to not leave their bed for 24 hours while binge watching television. Literally nothing in weeks has brought me more joy than the e-mail I woke up to this morning saying the office was closed.

However, not all people enjoy flood days as much as myself. For some odd reason some jackasses actually want to leave their house and go to work. How shitty does your life have to be at home for you to rush to the office so you can sit inside a cubicle and stare at your computer for 8 hours.

Was it just me or was the reporter kind of an asshole to him? “Leave the car. Swim!” And people are classifying this guy as a hero for walking out into 3 feet of water when the dumb son of a bitch could have just stood up the whole time. Then he sticks the microphone in his face while asking him if he is okay. Well its 7 am, I am soaking wet, and my car is under water.

 

Even The Texans had to cancel their first day of the off season conditioning. All but one Texan that is, because if you think JJ Watt is going to miss a fucking workout then your out of your damn mind. And did you really even workout if you didn’t let it be known on social media? #DBWH

But we should stop making stories out of non-stories. It’s not like he put it on social media for all of us to see that he made it to the facility.

Flood Day In Houston

Official Texans Schedule Released

Day Date Opponent TV Network Kickoff Time
Sunday Sept. 11 CHICAGO BEARS FOX Noon
Sunday Sept. 18 KANSAS CITY CHIEFS CBS Noon
Thursday Sept. 22 at New England Patriots CBS/NFLN/Twitter 7:25 p.m.
Sunday Oct. 2 TENNESSEE TITANS CBS Noon
Sunday Oct. 9 at Minnesota Vikings CBS Noon
Sunday Oct. 16 INDIANAPOLIS COLTS NBC 7:30 p.m.
Monday Oct. 24 at Denver Broncos ESPN 7:30 p.m.
Sunday Oct. 30 DETROIT LIONS FOX Noon
    BYE    
Sunday Nov. 13 at Jacksonville Jaguars CBS Noon
Monday Nov. 21 at Oakland Raiders ESPN 7:30 p.m.
Sunday Nov. 27 SAN DIEGO CHARGERS CBS Noon
Sunday Dec. 4 at Green Bay Packers CBS Noon
Sunday Dec. 11 at Indianapolis Colts CBS Noon
Sunday Dec. 18 JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS CBS Noon
Saturday Dec. 24 CINCINNATI BENGALS NFLN 7:25 p.m.
Sunday Jan. 1 at Tennessee Titans CBS Noon

Early Thoughts

2 MNF games, a Sunday night, Thursday night, and Saturday night game? PRIMETIME! Haven’t seen this many opportunities to choke on national television since 2012. JJ Watt is already getting his post game trash talk scripts prepared to gain even more exposure. I have no idea what a game on Twitter means but I LOVE IT. Now let’s break it down.

Week 1- Chicago Bears

Season opener at NRG against the lowly Bears? LOVE IT. What immediately caught my eyes is that it’s airing on FOX so we will probably end up fucked listening to Joe Buck. I will go ahead and chalk this one in as a W. Watt 2 sacks, Clowney sack, Osweiler 2 TD’s, Lamar Miller 1 TD, NUK 1 TD.

Record: 1-0.

Week 2- Kansas City Chiefs

Without Brian Hoyer completely shitting his pants and Bill O’Brien forgetting how to coach, there is no way we lose our playoff game 30-0. Hoyer is replaced and hopefully all packages with JJ Watt in at running back are thrown out with Lamar Miller in the backfield. With the new offense having only 1 week of experience together as a unit, we probably lose in a close defensive battle.

LOSER

Record: 1-1

Week 3- At New England Patriots

Foxborough, Bill Bellicheck, Tom Brady, Texans Lose are all synonymous. It is a Thursday night game airing on Twitter and I have no idea what that means, but it sounds ELECTRIC. Again, I don’t think the offense will have enough experience together yet to take down the Pats in Foxborough. Probably a 2 score game. Primetime 0-1.

Record: 1-2

Week 4- Tennessee Titans

The Titans just traded the first overall pick for a reason, they have an EXTREME lack of talent on the roster. Easy win. Offense really starts to take shape and build confidence after kicking some Titan teeth in.

Record: 2-2

Week 5- AT Minnesota Vikings

Vikings won last year by playing sound football. I personally don’t think they can play sound football better than us. Teddy in his second year appeared to be more of a game manager rather than a game changer. AP, although inhuman, is a year older. I have no idea if US Bank Stadium will be open next year, but regardless playing in Minnesota in October is a hell of a lot better than January.

Record: 3-2

Week 6- Indianapolis Colts

Say what you want about Andrew Luck, take him and the receivers away from this team and they might be the LEAST talented roster in the NFL. God I love playing in the AFC South. I think we finally got over the hump when it comes to beating the Colts last year. NRG should be hyped. Count it. PRIMETIME 1-1.

Record: 4-2

Week 7- At Denver Broncos

This is a game for Brock to prove what he is all about. If he goes in and balls against the best defense in the NFL/his former team… all aboard the Brock train. Although I have no idea who is playing the most important position for them, I will give them the respect they deserve as the defending Super Bowl Champs AT home. Close game but, LOSS. PRIMETIME 1-2.

Record: 4-3

Week 8- Detroit Lions

Do I really need to explain myself on this one. Not that Calvin was a world beater last year, but who is going to generate offense for them? Texans at home, Lions suck. Easy win. Blowout.

Record: 5-3

Week 9- BYE WEEK

I think entering the bye at 5-3 would be great. The bye lies perfectly in the middle of the regular season. Hopefully we can use it to rest players accordingly and not to figure out our identity as a team like last year.

Record: 5-3

Week 10- AT Jacksonville Jaguars

Jags have talent. They basically have TWO top 5 draft picks playing next season and a very talented offense. Bortles, Robinson, Hurns, Thomas, Yeldon, and now Chris Ivory. I believe they will be our biggest threat to win the division. Although it is an away game I feel we will be fresh and revitalized after the bye.

Record:6-3

Week 11- AT Oakland Raiders (Mexico)

Viva La Mexicoooooo!!! Thankfully this is not counting as a home game.  Supposedly Mexicos favorite team is the Raiders (shocker). Elevation is worse than Denver, Oakland’s team is the real deal. Carr, who might have the best O line in the legue, is coming for his brothers revenge. Raiders win a close one. PRIMETIME Record. 1-3

Record: 6-4

Week 12- San Diego Chargers

Your team is a joke and this is the last year you will see them play. Easy dub. Oh and Phillip Rivers is a loser, buttt he does have a ton of sex so props for that.

Record: 7-4

Week 13- AT Green Bay Packers

As much as it pains me to quote a loser like Stephen A. Smith, I have to say it. Aaron Rodgers is a baaaad man. With farmer Jordy back I expect them to get the win.

Record: 7-5

Week 14- AT Indianapolis Colts

The curse may be over, but Lucas Oil is still a very tough place to play. Indy will be in the mix at this point. Not to mention the Indy team will have so many grit coins at this point in the season. But they still suck. Get that leg ready Pat, gonna be a lot of punts.

Record:8-5

Week 15- Jacksonville Jaguars

Jacksonville is a good team, but they are not ready to take the division yet.

Record: 9-5

Week 16- Cincinnati Bengals 

Cinci SHOULD be bitter considering we handed them their first loss last season. Andy Dalton should be butthurt after reviewing the lame Red Rifle comment from JJ. Plus they got eliminated from playoffs basically because Pacman and Vontaze are insane. Bengals have talent. We lose a close one.

Record:9-5

Week 17- AT Tennessee Titans

Titans still suck and have nothing to play for week 17. Perfect 6-0 in the division.

Record: 10-6…l good enough.

 

Official Texans Schedule Released

Nick Wright Leaving Houston Radio

via Houston.CBSLocal.com- “I’m leaving SportsRadio 610 to move to Los Angeles and do a new TV show with FS1. In many ways, this is dream come true for me and I couldn’t be more excited about this new challenge and new opportunity. However, I will have plenty of time to talk about what I’ll be doing and who I’ll be doing it within the coming days and weeks. Right now, I really just want to say this: Thank You.”

Well it’s been fun. Honestly, no show is more fun to laugh at/with than 610’s “In The Loop.” In a weird way Nick actually inspired me to start writing because if he can be successful in the field of journalism, anyone can. Even though he is WAY over the top, we share similar beliefs on social and political issues. At times he was too stubborn to even entertain others point of views, but that same stubbornness never permitted him to alter his beliefs or back down. Even when he and his life partner were being verbally assaulted by the beloved Tom Herman, he stood his ground. “In The Loop” was the first sports talk radio show I listened to consistently and it wasn’t because of Lopez. Love or hate Nick Wright he is one of those guys who makes you listen, similar to the losers on First Take. I do wonder if FS1 has seen him before, or have they just heard him on the radio? They do know the guy looks like Shaka Smart’s long lost brother who was hit in the face with a shovel right? Good luck Nick.

nick wright
via Houston.CBSLocal.Com
Nick Wright Leaving Houston Radio