Grinds My Gears: Mail Theft

Woke up today to realize I was robbed over night and it was 100% my fault. For one, I guess I forgot to lock the truck. I’m also the type of idiot that sometimes leaves his wallet in the car. So instantly I checked to see if it was still there and it was, along with everything else. I thought I got lucky until I pulled up to the McDonald’s window to pay for my morning coffee (I know, poor people move buying MCD coffee) and all my cash was gone except $5 in ones. Now, I’m also the idiot that always carries around cash (hardo alert) because in my dumb head, my excuse is “you never know when you will need it.” To be honest, there has only been about 5 times in my life I have actually needed cash and 2 of those times were to pay hush money to people I’ve had fender benders with. But back to the point, I really wasn’t mad I got robbed. Can’t blame them. It’s 2016. No reason for me to even have that much cash on me and plus, I did leave my wallet in a unlocked truck. So it’s on me, I raise my hand.

(Side note: What kind of monster takes over $100 bucks but leaves the one dollar bills?? If you are going to take it, take all of it. Leaving me the wallet with ones for pity was a ruthless move. Truthfully, that pissed me off more then being robbed)

Now, one thing that came out of this was it gave me a perfect opportunity for a Grinds My Gears blog. There are honestly about 5 things that truly get under my skin and infuriate me. Stealing isn’t really one of them because everyone hates it. My take on stealing is a easy one: Its human nature. Does that make it justified? No. Should you get thrown the book at or ass beat if caught? Yes. But it’s life and it happens every second, so get use to it.

Yet, there is one type of theft that I do not understand and makes me furious than most things on Earth. Not sure why it gets to me but one thing that grinds my gears is:

People Who Steal Mail

The idea of mail is Top 5 best inventions ever. Being able to send anything, to anyone, anywhere blows my mind. But what truly makes the system work, is the integrity of the deliverers. Without hesitation, you give these people wearing shorts your possessions and trust the process that it will be delivered safely, without being opened, or damaged. Money, important documents, and even drugs are all sent via mail and 99% of the time delivered with no problems. We take for granted how easy it is to ship and receive anything we want. For example, you want to buy that Double-Dong but are too embarrassed to go to the store? Easy, have it mailed to you. I mean I know this whole thing is lame but God, the idea of mail is beautiful. So, when someone has the audacity to steal a package off a front porch, the whole system goes to shit. I honestly wouldn’t blink a eye if I saw someone shoplifting from a store. I’m not trying to be a hero. But now if I witnessed someone taking a package from a house, to quote CT ” you just justified me to bust a mother fuckers head open”. If you are caught stealing mail you deserve death. Plain and simple, don’t fuck with the mail. Sorry for the rant, just had to give a PSA on mail theft. God Bless you Doug Heffernan.

Update: Just found out Mail Theft is a Felony. I assumed it followed along the lines of normal theft charges but I guess people feel the same way. What a country we live in.


Grinds My Gears: Mail Theft

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