A Look Into Jared Goff’s Hand Size And Its Correlation To Success In the NFL

Hand size has become a major point of discussion for NFL draft prospects over the past couple of years. NFL scouts have questioned if a Quarterbacks hands are large enough to grip the ball with effectiveness. Are blank receiver’s hands strong enough to catch the ball on a consistent basis?  In many cases it has actually effected the draft stock of several college athletes. Some may ask why NFL teams care so much about what seems to be such a petty attribute? I’ll tell you why.

It should come as no surprise to anyone when I say that hand size is a direct correlation to penis size. And penis size is a direct correlation to confidence. When you’re drafting a position such as quarterback you are looking for a confident son of a bitch. Do you really think that Napolean Dynamite lookalike Nick Foles would even touch the practice field if he wasn’t packing heat?

In the 2016 NFL draft the talk of the town has been #1 overall pick Jared Goff’s bitch hands. We’re talking Burger King Size hands here people.  Sports Science has actually proven that gripping a football for Goff is equivalent to Tom Brady holding a small human. Unfortunately there is nothing Goff can do about his hands, however according to multiple late night sites I have visited there is something he can do about the size of his penis. If I was Goff’s agent I would highly recommend looking into some type of surgery to boost that confidence before his rookie campaign kicks off.

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A Look Into Jared Goff’s Hand Size And Its Correlation To Success In the NFL

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