Hand size has become a major point of discussion for NFL draft prospects over the past couple of years. NFL scouts have questioned if a Quarterbacks hands are large enough to grip the ball with effectiveness. Are blank receiver’s hands strong enough to catch the ball on a consistent basis? In many cases it has actually effected the draft stock of several college athletes. Some may ask why NFL teams care so much about what seems to be such a petty attribute? I’ll tell you why.
It should come as no surprise to anyone when I say that hand size is a direct correlation to penis size. And penis size is a direct correlation to confidence. When you’re drafting a position such as quarterback you are looking for a confident son of a bitch. Do you really think that Napolean Dynamite lookalike Nick Foles would even touch the practice field if he wasn’t packing heat?
In the 2016 NFL draft the talk of the town has been #1 overall pick Jared Goff’s bitch hands. We’re talking Burger King Size hands here people. Sports Science has actually proven that gripping a football for Goff is equivalent to Tom Brady holding a small human. Unfortunately there is nothing Goff can do about his hands, however according to multiple late night sites I have visited there is something he can do about the size of his penis. If I was Goff’s agent I would highly recommend looking into some type of surgery to boost that confidence before his rookie campaign kicks off.
Last night, after Eli Apple was drafted at number 10, Chris Berman threw out a little fun fact that actually blew my mind. He said, “3 players from the same school have been drafted in the Top 10, that has never happened before.”
I remember that exact moment he said that and thought to myself, “hmm that doesn’t sound right. Back in the day there were only like 5 good teams and it had to have happened before,” but I was already knee deep in Miller Lites and honestly could give a shit.
However, I have a vendetta against that fat slob. I absolutely despise Berman. DESPISE him. Guy just rambles off words and when he calls a game or event, he ruins it. For example the home run derby. There are going to be a hundred home runs hit that night. I don’t need to hear “back, back, back, back, back, GONE!” every 5 seconds. So when the other two Buckeyes got drafted and Berman’s fat face keep mumbling on, I decided to do a little fact check on his statement about 3 players from the same school in the Top 10.
NEWSFLASH: Berman is mentally retarded.
- 2010 Oklahoma- Picks 1,3,4
- 2005 Auburn- Picks 2,5,9
- 1995 Penn State- Picks 1,5,9
- 1987 Miami- Picks 1,3,9.
- 1977 USC- Picks 1,4,5.
- 1967 Michigan State- Picks 1,2,5,8
- At this point I gave up because I knew Notre Dame and Army had to be on the list and I had already proved my point that Berman was wrong.
Turns out it has happened a total of 12 times. Twelve….
Boomer, you need to hang up the tie and retire. I could see if your numbers were off by 1 or 2. But 12? Nope. Boomer is dead to me.
Skip Bayless- THE KING of hot takes- has decided to take his talents to FS1. What I didn’t know is that you get paid 5-6 million dollars to say the most blasphemous shit, which has brought me to the realization that I have been doing the blog game all wrong. In honor of Skips big move, Twitter has dug up some absolute gold with some former scorching hot Bayless takes.
Really like the MVP, LOVE this NFL free agent.
TRich AND Weeden! Makes me feel great he is the Texans back up.
Everyone remembers his man boner for Tebow.
Jim Irsay is high on painkillers and vodka like 90% of the time and even he couldn’t fuck that one up.
Coach of the Year was announced today…
P.S. too many LeBron takes for this blog.
via ESPN.Com- “JaMarcus Russell, the No. 1 overall pick in the 2007 NFL draft who hasn’t played since 2009, said he will “play for free” if a team gives him another chance. “I know that my name does not carry much weight in the NFL right now, but I am more than the image that others have bestowed on me,” Russell wrote. “I’ve been labeled as a bust, I have been labeled as lazy and I have been the targets of many insults by the media. The blame for any negative press that I’ve received rested squarely on my shoulders. … My tribulations have humbled me. I am a better man because of my struggles, and I simply desire an opportunity [to] redeem myself. I do not want my legacy to be a trail of unfulfilled dreams and missed opportunities.”‘
My man JaMarcus Russell. The former 1st overall pick has been on a 6 year hiatus since cashing out 40 mil and it appears the road to redemption starts now. From a rookie holdout for more cash to begging to play for free. Not sure working as a waterboy is the way to become an NFL Quarterback again, but maybe JaMarcus has a plan. A plan he constructed while drinking lean watching old Adam Sandler movies. I’m honestly just amazed he has enough money left to work for free. Someone paid attention at Rookie Money Symposium.
Via (CNN)- “A federal appeals court on Monday ruled in favor of the NFL in the “Deflategate” case, reinstating New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady’s originalfour-game suspension imposed by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.”
I don’t give a shit about Tom Brady and quite frankly I’m ready for this story to die. Did Tom Brady have a part in deflating the balls? I don’t know and I never will. One thing that aggravates me is how they use him destroying his phone as evidence against him. Imagine all the side pussy that gets leaked from a Tom Brady IPhone. He saw what happened to Tiger and he’s not going down like that. We all know the Patriots have bent the rules to gain an advantage against their opponents in the past, who cares. I will take every scandal for just one sniff at a Super Bowl. These Bostonian assholes have won 4. What I do care about in all of this is that the Texans matchup vs. the Pats week 3 just got a whole lot easier. There is serious potential for us now to start the season 4-0. Shout out to Roger Goodell one time for his grudge against the Pats.
Tomorrow afternoon your Houston Rockets face off against the Golden State Warriors in Game 4 of the first round of the Western Confrence Playoffs. The Warriors lead the series 2-1 but don’t count the Rockets out yet. Because game 3, we Houstionans got our first sent of sweet, sweet, victory.
So I’m going to recap game 3 for everyone. First thing i want to start out with was how electric the introduction to the game was.
That video right there is the most electrifying thing I’ve ever seen in my life. So electrifying that the guy next to me kept slapping his chest, over and over to kick start his pacemaker. I assume it kicked back on because he eventually leaned over to me and said one word, “Electrifying”. So shout out to the old man in section 403, row 7, seat 18.
The Rockets played their best basketball ever in the first quarter of game 3. The ball movement was on point, shots were falling, Dwight was getting the ball down low and dominating Bogut and here and there you will see Dwight & James slaping hands like they’re actually enjoying playing ball with each other. The Rockets held the lead all the way to the last minutes of the fourth. James had a beautiful game winning jumper, then you had Draymon Green bounce the ball off his foot which solidified the Rockets win, then Green proceed to turn in his resume to the WWE and slammed Mike Beasley onto the court.
Game 4 tips off @ 2:30 central time so Htown, make sure you tune in and root on your Houston Rockets to another victory over the Golden State Warriors. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to watch the game due to that I’ll be in an RV with a dog driving so please everyone keep me in their prayers.
Also don’t forget to donate to our venmo account @SportsFiasco. All donations are greatly appreciated.
Stay leaning Houston,
So today was a tragic day for celebrities who punched their one way ticket to the golden gates. The man, the legend, Purple Rain himself.. Prince has passed away at the age of 57… It feels like yesterday when Prince was on center stage in a Super Bowl half time show, with two irrelevant teams battling against each other to call themselves World Champions.. I was devastated when I heard the news. The crazy thing is, is that he was just raging balls at his own house party a few days before (Link here). Just a lil side note on Prince’s house parties…. When Prince hosts a party, you have to go. You have to go! No matter what is on your schedule, you cancel. Reason being is that if you’re a dude and you walk into a Prince house party… You instantly get laid, right there on the spot. Even if you’re a female walking into the party, you get laid right there on the spot. I know females have all of the power of when they want to get laid and when they don’t.. But if your at Princes house party.. Prince has the power….
This brings me on to another legend who passed away recently…. Chyna the WWE Super Diva. Dead. At the age of 45. This is a sad time for all of the WWE super fans. Even when I say it out load that Chyna is dead.. My heart falls into a million of pieces. I’m pretty sure that when the first time my mother caught me “choking the chicken” it was to the one and only, Chyna, when I was 6 years old… (That’s a story for a later time). Maybe that’s why my heart is broken into a million pieces because she is a such a staple in my journey to man hood. Anyways..
Rest in peace Prince, Rest in peace Chyna.. Y’all say what’s up to all of my fam chillin up there.
Stay leaning Houston