TENNIS STAR FAILS DRUG TEST

 

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Via ESPN- Maria Sharapova announced Monday that she failed a drug test at the Australian Open in January.

She said she received a letter from the International Tennis Federation on Wednesday but has not yet found out what her penalty will be. The ITF confirmed the failed drug test and said Sharapova would be provisionally suspended until the case is finalized.

Okay, first of all Sharapova is a bonafide star. She has 5 Grand Slam titles which is only behind the Williams sisters (those freaks won’t be beat). Second, she’s a total babe. Maria “Smokeshow” Sharapova failed a drug test for taking Meldonium. So what the girl failed a measly drug test? When you’re hot, I say do whatever the hell you want.

Meldonium is a blood-flow-promoting drug banned because it helps oxygen uptake and endurance.

Hold up,  you’re telling me we got people beating the piss out of their girlfriend/boyfriend, dudes with Testosterone levels fit for a Rhino, and JFF poppin eardrums; and you wanna come at me with “Sharapova fails drug test”? Na, fuck that. Maria Sharapova does what she pleases. And Meldonium? Give me a break you bunch of sissies. I’m sure the people who decided Meldonium should be banned recycle mouthwash.  It would be different if the tennis hottie was rippin nose clams, or plunging a needle into her arm. But to help her blood-flow? Geeze. The poor girl is probably gonna lose all of her endorsements which would probably end her decorated career on a real shitty note. I mean a real shitty note. Like a note in middle school from your crush telling you to scram, or a note plastered to your door saying you’ve been evicted. But I think at the end of the day she’ll probably be okay.

Sharapova is super loaded, still an amazing athlete, and drop dead gorgeous. There are a few things in life I’m absolutely sure about. Without a shadow of doubt I know that cinnamon rolls rock, nose always goes, and Sharapova is the shit. I say let her live her life and let her flow her blood.

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