And just like that, the election is over before it even started. SHUT IT DOWN, NOW. One single tweet from John Daly and Trump has locked in over half of the voting population.
Who are these voters you may ask? The ladies of course. With this endorsement, no matter if they are Black, Hispanic, Muslim, or any other demographic, Trump will receive every single breathing American woman’s vote. Its a just a fact. No female can resist the power John Daly possess.
He’s got the BOD
The Bad Boy attitude
And last but certainty not least, the massive hog that dangles between his legs. You don’t get the nickname “Long John” for nothing.
NYPost– Daly partied harder than most rock stars, Sherrie realized one night in Florida at the VH1 “Fairway to Heaven” Celebrity Golf Tournament. There, Daly made fast friends with Tommy Lee and Bret Michaels and invited the two on board his bus. Daly was so proud of the size of his penis that he challenged Tommy Lee to compare.
“They both whipped it out right there on the bus. I didn’t see, but I did hear that John was bigger around. I’m sure he just loved that,” she writes.
With just those things alone, you can see why the ladies love him and will vote for whoever he endorses. So you heard it here first, Trump just won the election.
P.S- Daly is one of my favorite athletes. Any opportunity I get to blog about Daly, I will take it. There are millions of great stories. Plus, his “30 for 30: Hit it Hard” will premiere at SXSW March 11-19. Cant fucking wait.
P.P.S- Don’t like the new skinny Daly. Needs to bring back the gut. No one likes the fat guy that loses a lot of weight. Gets less funnier, relatable, and overall enjoyable. Make John Fat Again.