Boltman Saves San Diego

NBC Sports– Chargers chairman Dean Spanos announced that the team will stay in San Diego for 2016, and in a statement, said he hopes to keep the team there. “Today I decided our team will stay in San Diego for the 2016 season and I hope for the long term in a new stadium. This has been our home for 55 years, and I want to keep the team here and provide the world-class stadium experience you deserve.”

You did it Boltman! You fucking did it! (Well at least for another year) A couple of weeks ago, when news broke on the Rams moving to L.A, I wrote this. Two weeks later, what do you know it, the Chargers decide to stay. No doubt in my mind Boltman was the reason. The half man/ half bolt went in front of City Council and brought them to their knees. They thought they could easily just pack up and leave until realizing who they were messing with. Just look how shook these people were:

Tony Manolatos, spokesman for Mayor Kevin Faulconer’s stadium task force- “You know it’s a big deal if Boltman shows up to your news conference or your rally. He’s made this effort his mission.”

Former City Atty. Michael Aguirre- “A lot of people think he’s just this cartoon character, but he’s the real deal. He’s got an encyclopedic knowledge of the issue. He may be the best advocate the players have.”

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“Made it his mission?” Mayor Faulconer must have lost so much sleep knowing there was a giant walking lighting bolt coming for his head. Now I don’t throw out the word hero much, but when an entire city is in dire need of help, Boltman rose to the challenge and became the hero they needed. Who is this the man behind the mask though? Batman was Bruce Wayne. Superman was Clark Kent. But who is Boltman? Well ladies and gentlemen, that man is Dan Jauregui.

Jauregui has been the guardian of San Diego now for 20 years and has fought the City many times about the relocation controversy with the motto: Build a new stadium, save the team for San Diego.”  As of now the Chargers are still in San Diego, but the future is not certain. So when the time comes again, you can count on Boltman to be there to protect and serve.

 

P.S- If the Chargers do decide to relocate, our boy Danny needs to be on suicide watch. Just look at this quote:

“Jauregui remains confident the team will stay in San Diego — but if they don’t, he is ready. Boltman will not follow the team elsewhere. Jauregui vows to take his Boltman costume, weigh it down and toss it off the Coronado-Bay Bridge. ‘If they move to Carson or Los Angeles, they’re dead to me,’ he said.”

So unless you want blood on your hands San Diego City Council, you better build a new stadium.

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Boltman Saves San Diego

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